After staying with our families in Ontario for the week, I'm more sure than ever of one thing: I do not want a big house!
Growing up I often battled contentment. My parents have a beautiful home, but I always wished it was bigger and nicer. Though I had many friends whose homes were smaller than ours, the few friends whose homes were larger drove me to discontentment.
Isn't it often that way? My heart is an idol factory and is always finding new ways to create things of worship - growing up it was having a big home. I remember hearing adults comment at what a hassle it must be to clean such a large house, but that meant nothing to me at the time. Now, as an adult with those considerations plus a family, I couldn't imagine having a big home!
Living in the city has drastically changed my perception of The American Dream, (or Canadian Dream, if that's a phrase). After four years here, and two years with kids, I'm more commited than ever to having a small home. Here's why:
Growing up I often battled contentment. My parents have a beautiful home, but I always wished it was bigger and nicer. Though I had many friends whose homes were smaller than ours, the few friends whose homes were larger drove me to discontentment.
Isn't it often that way? My heart is an idol factory and is always finding new ways to create things of worship - growing up it was having a big home. I remember hearing adults comment at what a hassle it must be to clean such a large house, but that meant nothing to me at the time. Now, as an adult with those considerations plus a family, I couldn't imagine having a big home!
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- Small homes are easier to baby proof (stairs to second levels or basements and a kabillion places to hide make this mama nervous)
- Small homes are easier to clean (though harder to keep clean since you use the same space over and over again)
- You always know where your children are (I can't tell you how many times over the last week in Ontario we asked "where's Lily?")
- You don't need to buy/have as much stuff (Our first apartment in Montreal was larger than the one we own now, and I remember feeling a pressure to make every room "lived in" which led us to buying a great deal more than we have in our current home)
- You're together when you're home (I often got the sense when in larger homes that though everyone was, indeed, home, we were all so apart. I'm all for having personal space [bedrooms can provide that, for instance] but several living rooms and levels can be isolating)
- You can hear each other! (Even in our 1,000 sq ft condo I can't always hear Brad when he's yelling my name if we're at opposite ends of the home and it's SO annoying)
- Small homes are affordable to keep (without additional rooms that aren't often used [think, formal dining and living rooms], you're not paying to heat/cool unused space)
- It's easier/cheaper to decorate - and re-decorate! (we painted our open-concept condo pale grey knowing that it was neutral and could withstand change. I'm often rearranging furniture or adding different accents around our home, and I can do it because it's all one space, so transformation is cheap and easy)
/// What are your thoughts/experiences with large homes?
What are your thoughts/experiences with small homes?
How do you handle living in a large home? (cleaning, etc)
How do you handle living in a small home? (personal space, etc)
Because love grows best in little houses,
ReplyDeleteWith fewer walls to separate,
Where you eat and sleep so close together.
You can't help but communicate,
Oh, and if we had more room between us, think of all we'd miss.
Love grows best, in houses just like this.
Yeah, love grows best, in houses just like this
It's a country song but I've always thought the words ring true. I struggle to find contentment in my rather large home due to the work load and seemingly pointless cost since we really do not need all this space. Keep the space small between you and your loved ones 'cause in a big house it is easy to be alone.
Wonderful thoughts! We have raised our five kids in a small home and it has been close and cozy for sure, but so freeing in many ways. We are at that age when many of our friends are burdened with huge ''assets''( now empty nests) which have become a burden and need to be dealt with sans the energy, finances and interest to keep it up. Our little paid-for-postage-stamp, a miracle God provided some 22 years ago, still reminds us of His care in giving us just what we need then and now. Small home or large should belong to Him, n'est pas? We must always hold loosely these earthly dwellings. But while we are in them, they belong to Him. Let's use them for His glory!
ReplyDeleteJoyce
interesting point, Joyce. I never thought about what a burden a huge empty house might be once the kids are grown. Though obviously valuable when the kids come home with spouses and families! In our case, we'll probably never host huge family gatherings once our kids grow and have families of their own - we'll likely opt to rent a huge chalet for a weekend and split the cost between every family. Would be a fun getaway and a way to stay together without buying the mega house for that sole purpose :)
Deletethanks also for your point about God's provision and the need to hold loosely to these things.
I'm with you on bigger not being better. That said, it all depends on your needs. When we bought our first home we bought bigger than we need right now (a three-bedroom bungalow with a nice finished basement), partly because my husband and I have each moved sooooo many times that we really wanted something we could finally settle and grow into, but also because his family is in Asia. We knew that when they come to visit, they will likely stay a long time, so having an extra bathroom and fairly private guest room (i.e., not right next to us) was a priority. I have no issues with kids sharing rooms, but don't plan on sharing with my in-laws, haha!
ReplyDeleteI think some of that depends on your personality too. We have way more space than we have things, but I don't really feel pressure to fill the rooms - our basement is empty other than the guest bedroom, the laundry room, and a storage closet full of boxes. For a person that loves to decorate, that might be stressful and provide the temptation to spend money, but it doesn't bother me.
That said, while our home may be bigger than yours, it is tiny compared to the renovated "monster homes" that some of our neighbours have! I like that actually; I figure any potential thieves will skip right by us and head to the bigger house across the street. ;-)
that's great Maggie! seems like you are thriving in a large home - way to go, girl! also, very key if you have relatives who might be visiting for months!
Deleteisn't it interesting that no matter how large or small your home is, there are always ones that are larger or smaller? And the desire to compare is too. Yikes :)
I've always loved a smaller space for the exact same reasons as you, Em. But God has provided a larger space for us to be living in the past 3 years when we moved back into the house that I grew up in. It's really big for what we're used to. (3,000 sq. ft when we came from 5 people living in under 1,200). But it's amazing to see God work even through a big space. This isn't our home, it's my moms. So it is furnished with her things still on the main floor and we've overtaken the upstairs as far as stuff goes though we all inhabit the main floor.
ReplyDeleteSince moving here I've claimed the space too big. Which, to my shame, was me being unappreciative. Yes, it's huge to clean. Yes, kids clutter up every nook and cranny. But a game of hide and seek here is awesome!
Over this Christmas holiday I've only just begun to be thankful for this large space God has lent us for this season. We don't know our future but for now this is where he has us and it allowed us to have 8 adults and 8 children here for dinner on a random thursday evening over the holiday. something that could NOT have happened in our smaller space. It also allows all 3 of my boys to have friends over at the same time without me batting an eyelash.
Large space doesn't change everything though and I would argue one is not better or worse. Just different. My boys all still share a room, by choice, in this larger space. Though I'm glad they learned that trait from a smaller home when they were little. I'm just learning to be thankful in whatever God brings our way. (learning being the key word here!)
good point, to be thankful in whatever place God has given!
Deletedefinitely love the picture of all your kids having friends over at once. and I LOVE that your three boys share a room though they aren't forced to due to space constructions.
I think there are pros and cons. Right ow we are living in a two bedroom with two kids but looking to get a three bedroom, partially because of what Maggie said, having parents and guests from overseas stay for long periods of time works out better if you have a room for them to sleep in. Having overnight guests in the living room works but is tiring for everyone after awhile..and messy and clutters. We have a teeny kitchen without a window and nowhere to go when kids wake up in the morning except the entry way to our flat.
ReplyDeleteWe looked at a place yesterday and it was old, musty smelling and not a great setup, although it had three rooms. Reminded us to be thankful for what wee have for this season.
I hear you Tar!
DeleteOur pull out couch suits most visitors but when we have a VIP guest (such as my grandmother who came for just one night en route to NY) we gladly sleep there and give up our room so they can have privacy. We also give up our room when we have visitors with kids, since our room is able to host a pack-n-play and has a bathroom attached. It gives them privacy and means we don't have to move our own kids from there room - just ourselves :)
Also, I should note, that while I strongly advocate the great elements of a SMALL home, it still has to be nice and functional. Our current home is small but is a great lay out and I love the aesthetic (though I'd like more natural light). That helps a lot!
i have been wanting to write a blog on this very topic! I am a HUGE fan of smaller homes. When D and I were first married we lived in a house under 500-square-feet. I have never seen a smaller place, and we LOVED it. It forced us to spend all our time together, and we barely fought!
ReplyDeleteNow, we have a home that is probably slightly smaller than yours (about 900-sq-feet). However, we have four walk-in closets, which take up a good chunk, but are kinda crucial! I am so blessed in this house. I know what you mean about being on opposite ends of the home and not being able to hear the other person - super annoying!!
I agree with all your points! We plan on having a small house forever, both because we wont be able to afford a massive house, and because I don't desire it. I'd much rather a cozy, nicely decorated 3-bedroom that is around 1,600 - 1,800 square feet (although layout is crucial!) And we plan to have four kids! :)